The wacky boarding school
by metallicanirvana
Summary: Ever wonder what Jessica's boarding school is like? Well you don't want to know and you don't read this. If you read it however be expected to lose brain cells and flamers, remember... i cry easily. That's my most manly trait as well.


It was a warm sunny morning and Jessica was enjoying her holidays because she knew once it was over she would have to return to prison

It was a warm sunny morning and Jessica was enjoying her holidays because she knew once it was over she would have to return to prison. Not a literal prison but a boarding school which is probably worst.

"Honey, shouldn't you be getting backed for school?" Helen asked walking into the room. She randomly got a comb and ran it through Jessica's hair.

"Mum, why do I have to go back?"

"You know how dad is, he wants you to stay in Springfield but you have just been… a bad girl sometimes." That was true, a month ago she had framed a friend of hers for stealing from the church collection plate. She however got snapped by her friend's little sister who was some what of a child prodigy. Ever since that little incident she has lost respect from all authority figures, friends and even family.

"Mum, I didn't mean to be such a bad daughter…" Jessica said truthfully, she had a lot of bad words attached to her name and she was only 10.

"Well tell that to your dad, I will always love you no matter what you do."

"I don't want to leave Springfield yet though."

"I'm sorry honey, you got 2 days to pack." Jessica hadn't started packing because she didn't want the memory of boarding school to ruin her holidays but she had to eventually start.

-

"Dad, I don't want to go." The Reverend wasn't paying any attention to Jessica's whines as he put all of her luggage into the family car. The Reverend had to pick her up and force her into the car as she bite, fought and screamed. Helen looked embarrass as the neighbours started to investigate what the noise was.

"Is the Reverend raping his daughter? Hmm rape," Homer said moronically as he and his family walked past and saw the commotion.

"Homer!" Marge responded shocked at what her husband said although it doesn't surprise her anymore. He is rather stupid but she didn't care, she loved him even though there was very little that one could love about the fat, bald man.

"Jessica… get into the car!!" Reverend Lovejoy said. After realising this was her faith she did so.

"Bart… before I go… I just want to say I'm sorry." She said before entering the car.

"Shame your going back to boarding school you little bitch." Bart said with a smirk. He had every right to be nasty to her, he hadn't forgotten about what had happened to him when they were dating. He ended up being framed for stealing from the church collection plate.

"Now Jessica, I want you to try hard to behave… you know daddy loves you."

"No you don't, you just want me to be like the rest of these conformists, obeying rules and never pushing the boundaries of what's right and what's fun." Jessica said bitterly to her father with her arms crossed in anger. She had been expelled from her last boarding school and now she was forced to once again restart in a new school, environment with an attempt to make new friends. She was used to this by now, she had been expelled from a few boarding schools and the only school she hasn't been expelled from is one in her home town, Springfield Elementary

"Ok, good bye honey..." Reverend Lovejoy said trying to give his daughter a kiss on the cheek but she dodged and got out of the car as quickly as she could. She picked up her luggage and quickly entered the train, she didn't want to see her father right now. A lot of the cabins were full but she found one that was empty. She put her headphones on, she wanted to drain out the sound of the train because she knew it was going to drag her away to some place she didn't want to be in.

"Aw dude, she took our cabin." Jessica pulled her head phones out as four boys walked into the cabin.

"What do you want?" She asked angrily.

"Your sitting in our cabin, get out bitch." A rather large one said.

"Shut up fat ass," Jessica said.

"Hey, don't call me fat you skinny bitch." The boy replied angrily.

"Dude, can we sit here… we have been in this cabin for the past 4 years." One of the boys asked, most of his face was covered in his orange parka and Jessica barely understood what he said.

"What ever just don't bother me." Jessica said putting her head phones back in and turning up the sound so it could drain out their chatter. She was annoyed when her battery suddenly died, she could swear she had placed it on the charger the night before.

"Where you listening to the smashing pumpkins?" The boy with the parka asked.

"Yeah…" Jessica said, she wasn't in the mood for talk. She was still pissed off she was going to boarding school in the first place. Her dad never did tell her the details of the school, she doesn't even know where it is at.

"They are cool." The boy replied with a smile that was barely visible because of his parka.

"Smashing pumpkins? They are super lame," The fat boy said.

"Shut up fat ass," Jessica and the other 3 boys said in unison.

"What's your name?" One of the boys asked, he had jet black hair under a puff ball hat. Jessica thought he looked rather cute but he looked like a bit of an activist for some reason.

"Jessica."

"Cool, I'm Stan, that's Kyle, Kenny and that's fat ass."

"AH!! I'm Cartman."

"Yeah Cartman the fat ass," Kyle responded with a smirk.

"Shut up Jew,"

"Don't belittle my people fat ass." Jessica couldn't help but laugh a little. They all seemed rather fun to be around and instantly took the thoughts of being forced in a hell hole out of her mind. The 5 of them made their way to their school, carrying their luggage.

"Welcome to Hogwarts uhh I meant Fogwarts, sorry… don't want to get sued here people…"

"Victory is mine!" A small baby said before running off.

"Oh my God, they killed Kenny."

"You Bastards!!" Kenny wasn't dead and that confused Jessica a little.

"Excellent," Mr Burns said walking past, Jessica looked shocked to see him here.

"Ok, well before the lawyers come, we must get you all sorted into your houses."

"There are 4 houses, Slithering, Bird claws, Bumble puff and of cause Graffiti door." The rather old lady said leading the students into the great hall. It was a great hall… it had a freaken table!!

"Mr Dumb balls, it hurts when I pee."

"Well its obvious what you must do my friend, stop peeing!" The wise head master said. He cleared his throat and was ready to make a small speech.

"Hello new students, this year will be hard work. You are all expected to learn the fine arts of drug making in chemistry, the physics of armed robbery and of cause English and how to kill those stupid brits!!" Jessica couldn't believe what she heard.

"Uhh Headmaster Dumble… uhh dumb balls, these are the 5th graders." A professor whispered to the old, senile man.

"Oh right, that was just a little joke. Work hard and stuff, well I'm off to screw the fat lady portrait… bye!!" All the students were left dumbstruck as they walked to the area which they were getting sorted in.

"Ok, when I call your name please step forward and have the hat placed on your head. It will sort you into the right house. Jessica Lovejoy?" Jessica stepped forward as eyes of her fellow students glued on to her. She put the hat on and sat down on the chair.

"Graffiti door." The lady said shaking the hat a little and putting on a different voice.

"Wait, why are you pretending the hat talks."

"THE HAT SAID GRAFFITI DOOR!!" The old lady screamed at Jessica who was covered in the saliva of the old lady. The saliva smelt like cat pee to Jessica who of cause had snorted cat piss in her younger days. Jessica in shock walked back to where the fat ass and his friends were.

"Stanley Marsh?" It took nearly 2 hours but everyone was slowly sorted into there houses. Jessica seemed a little relieved that her new friends were in graffiti door as well except for Cartman who was in Slithering. She didn't see the point in these houses, something about getting points and winning a cup, that didn't sound exciting at all.

"Hello, my name is Harry Potter," A boy around our age says.

"Better it four eyes," Kenny says spitting on his scar.

"OW!! You must be Lord Older Bort." Kenny doesn't pay any attention as he kicks the boy in the balls.

"OW! My magically balls… no don't cry wimpy willy." The boy walks away, he sure is strange. Jessica had been in the school for no more than 5 hours and she was already starting to join it. It seemed a rather relaxed place for sure and she had made some friends as well although she was planning to exploit them soon.

"I'm ready, I'm ready!!"

"Move out of the way Sponge," Jessica says kicking the sponge like creature off the stairs as she walks up.

"Ow Patrick she kicked me."

"Hi Spongebob."

"Wow, this isn't bad at all…" Jessica said staring at her dorm. It was quite spacious and everything looked expensive. For once she didn't have the urge to cause havoc, she already had everything she wanted.

"Hello, my name is Sakuria, I have these really cool cards... that's my friend Madison." One of the girls introduced herself to Jessica. She looked like a typical good girl, the type Jessica hated but she thought it might be useful to have her as a friend.

"Hi, my name is Jessica. I look your stuffed rat thingy with wings." Jessica said taking a seat as Stan and his friends walked into the room. Things finally didn't look so bad for Jessica, she didn't have the urge to destroy this school from the inside out but she still couldn't forgive her father.


End file.
